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Mungkinkah Meraih Kebahagiaan?

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IslamLib – Bagaimana meraih kebahagiaan? Ini pertanyaan kuno yang terus akan relevan sampai kapanpun. Semua agama dan filsafat besar memberikan resepnya masing-masing. Semua orang, dengan pelbagai cara, mencoba meraihnya. Tetapi saya punya jawaban sendiri.

Tak ada rumus kebahagiaan yang “ready for all”. Tak ada. Itu jawaban saya, berdasarkan pengalaman saya sendiri. Masing-masing orang harus merumuskan jalannya sendiri sesuai dengan pengalaman hidupnya, sejarah pribadinya, dan lingkungan sekitar di mana dia tumbuh.

Ada sejumlah tip mengenai kebahagiaan yang diedarkan oleh juru dakwah, motivator, filosof, maupun Kitab Suci. Tetapi tip mengenai kebahagiaan hanyalah semacam akumulasi pengalaman generasi terdahulu. Dia bisa relevan buat Anda, bisa tidak.

Dia hanya menjadi semacam rambu atau isyarat saja yang membantu Anda mencari jalan menuju kebahagiaan. Pada akhirnya, Anda harus merumuskan cara dan “tip kebahagiaan” Anda sendiri. You are the creator of your own happiness!

Kebahagiaan bisa dijelaskan dan didakwahkan. Tetapi dakwah mengenai kebahagiaan yang  berbusa-busa di atas mimbar berbeda jauh dengan kebahagiaan sebagaimana dalam kehidupan yang riil. Teori mengenai kebahagiaan berbeda dengan “the praxis of happiness”. Pada akhirnya, kebahagiaan adalah sesuatu yang harus Anda alami sendiri dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.

Kebahagiaan juga bukan sesuatu yang datang secara cuma-cuma. Berbeda dengan binatang, manusia, menurut seorang sosiolog konstruktivis Peter Berger, adalah ciptaan yang tak pernah cocok dan kerasan secara natural dengan lingkungan sekitar. Manusialah yang harus membuat alam sekitar itu cocok dengan dirinya dengan cara mengubah lingkungan itu.

Kebahagiaan tak akan datang secara cuma-cuma karena manusia harus meraihnya sendiri; harus mengubah alam dan lingkungan di sekitarnya sesuai dengan “citra ideal” yang ia bayangkan. Karena itu, kebagiaan bukan “resultante” atau hasil yang sudah tersedia di awal, saat Anda lahir. Melainkan hasil yang hanya bisa Anda jumpai di akhir sebuah proses.

Dengan kata lain, you have to win your own happiness. Kebahagiaan harus Anda perjuangkan sendiri, Anda rumuskan sendiri agar pas dengan “takdir” dan ukuran mental-spiritual-intelektual Anda sendiri. Orang lain, termasuk orang tua dan pasangan Anda, tidak bisa menyedekahkan kebahagiaan kepada Anda. Kebahagiaan tidak bisa dihibahkan seperti barang.

Anda bisa meraih kebahagiaan jika Anda tahu di mana sumber ketidak-bahagiaan. Kata pepatah Arab, bi diddiha tatamayyaz al-ashya’, sesuatu bisa diketahui karena kita melihat lawannya. Kita bisa mengetahui nilai kesehatan, karena kita pernah mengalami lawannya: sakit.

Salah satu sumber ketidak-bahagiaan adalah jika seseorang hidup tidak sesuai dengan takdirnya. Dalam ungkapan yang populer sekarang: Anda tak bahagia kalau Anda tidak menjadi diri Anda sendiri. Karena itu ada ungkapan, be yourself, jadilah dirimu sendiri.

Ungkapan sufi yang terkenal: man ‘arafa nafsahu, fa qad ‘arafa rabbahu. Jika Anda tahu siapa dirimu, Anda akan tahu siapa Tuhanmu. Implikasi tak terkatakan dari kebijaksanaan sufi ini adalah: Jika Anda tahu Tuhanmu, maka Anda akan bahagia. Anda menjadi bahagia jika Anda tahu siapa dirimu, apa takdirmu, apa kekuatan dan kelemahanmu.

You are happy whe you know what you are good at. Anda bahagia ketika Anda tahu bidang-bidang yang Anda bisa mengerjakannya dengan baik dan penuh “passion”. Ada orang yang bahagia karena menjadi guru, sebab itulah ukuran dan takdir yang pas buat dirinya. Ada yang bahagia karena menjadi seorang pengarang. Ada yang bahagia karena ia menjadi pengusaha. Dan seterusnya.

Anda harus mengetahui apa yang Anda bisa mengerjakannya dengan baik. Apa yang disebut dengan takdir bukan konsep teologis yang serius dan metafisika yang penuh misteri. Takdir adalah ukuran atau “template” kehidupanmu. Setiap orang lahir dengan “template” tertentu. Orang yang menjalani hidupnya sesuai dengan “template”-nya, ia akan bahagia. Sebab ia menjadi dirinya sendiri.

Pertanyaannya: Bagaimana saya mengetahui “template” saya? Anda hanya bisa mengetahuinya setelah melalui sebuah proses. Kebijaksanaan Yunani kuno mengatakan, know thyself. Pahamilah dirimu. Dan ini bukan proses “sak dek sak nyet”, mendadak saja. Mengetahui diri sendiri membutuhkan usaha keras.

Tetapi jangan khawatir. Sebuah hadis terkenal dari Nabi Muhammad menegaskan: kullun muyassarun li-ma khuliqa lahu. Setiap orang biasanya dimudahkan mengerjakan sesuatu yang ia ditakdirkan untuknya. Dengan kata lain, biasanya orang akan merasa “enjoy” jika ia melakukan sesuatu yang sesuai dengan langgam, kemampuan, dan wataknya.

Dengan ungkapan lain, Anda bisa tahu “template” Anda dengan mengobservasi apa yang membuat Anda “enjoy” saat mengerjakannya. Di situlah, jangan-jangan, terletak sumber kebahagiaan Anda.

Jadi, apakah kebagiaan bisa diraih? Jawabannya tergantung apakah Anda bisa menjadi diri Anda sendiri, at peace with yourself, doing what you are at peace with and good at.

Selamat menikmati akhir pekan!

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